The Farm Pig, by Kolbe Jimenez

 The Farm Pig

By: Kolbe Francisco Jimenez

 There once was a pig. His name was swine. Although swine is a word for members of the pig family, his parents named him swine anyway. He was fatter than normal pigs. That's because he's a glutton. His parents told him to fast every single day because he was too fat. Soon he quitted his fast because he would soon die of hunger. Savannah pig eats vegetables again. Savannah Pig was his cousin. Savannah Pig was very skinny. Savannah Pig and Swine are very unalike. Farm pig also known as Swine, licks salt 24/7. But soon his tongue was so salty that the only thing he could taste even when he ate his vegetables was salt. Then he quit eating salt. And then he ate lemons. But then a hunter put out a salt lick for deer to lick, then Swine licked all the salt. And then he milked the cows himself so he can have milk, because it was too spicy for him. The hunter was POed and said, “#$#^*$^%$%&^^^###%$^^&^^$%#@@@$%%^$$#$%#$#%!%^*&&$R@!@!#$%&*&$$!@!#$^^&&*&Y$#!!@$%%^^^*&&%$%$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^&^&^%%^%$$%^$^%%%$%**&^(^%&$^$$^$$#$$#@$#%$%^%^&*^*&^%$$%#$#@@!#@$%$#^%^%^&^&^&%&*&^&%$%$#@#$%$ !” When the hunters' kids heard that, they hated their father forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever. Swine put the Hunter in a lot of trouble, and the hunter said, “I'll get you next time Pig, next time!” Then the cat said, “meow .” Swine ate vegetables for lunch. Then swine fell and broke his glasses. Then they got swine new glasses. Then he played basketball. He was standing right under the hoop, when some guy slam dunked the ball and it smashed him in the nose and broke his glasses. Finally they got him new glasses. When he quit basketball, he played football. Then the quarterback threw the ball and smashed it in his face. The good part was he got a touchdown, the bad part he broke another pair of glasses. The farmer owes the glasses maker a fortune.  So then they got him new glasses. So he quit football and played soccer, and he was stuck with goalie. In the first game they kicked a ball straight at his face; they knocked him out, and broke his glasses! So they had to get him new glasses. So he quit soccer and played baseball. He had to play Outfield. Then someone hit a Fly ball straight at his face and broke his glasses. Then they realized that it was hearing aids he needed instead of glasses. He first said that he needed glasses because he thought that they asked if he needed glasses, but it was really hearing aids that he needed, so then his parents spent millions of dollars for glasses that they didn't even need! Soon the farm got boring. Then the donkeys played donkey ball. Swine got jealous so he decided to make the same thing as Donkey Ball but instead of donkey ball, PIG BALL! Pig ball really was not that exciting. All you had to do was headbutt a ball into a net. It was extremely boring. So then Swine just started to write a book. The book was called, “random words that don't even make any sense!” by: Swine the pig. Here's how the book went,

Hey Joseph what's your problem man can you bring in Iraq are you dumb and stupid imbecile. The best part of the book is next. @#$^%^*&%##@!@$$%^&%$$#!@%%&^*#$@#@#$@%$%$$$#@$^^&*(^#@#!@@!#@$%^&*()&^ So then there was a wizard name the wizard said cuz I don't care I want to know what you have to say only what I have to say you are the worst person to Johnny Bananas if I ever see you very good person on PSP poop poop poop poop perfect #@**&^$%%$#$@#$^%^%*^%$^$#@!@$!@#%%$^#$&*&^*(^&(()**$&$^^. said the wizard. then the wizard said @#!$  you get the point the wizard says labor is a bad word that he's supposed to. Then the pig decided to quit the book right there and then he said “sheepadoodles” All the money that they spent on the glasses could have been used to help the farm, but now they have to live in the dump. Every single day they had to eat trash. Everyone knew they would dump some perfectly good vegetables, and then everybody tackled each other just to get the vegetables. For once everybody actually wanted to eat vegetables.The farm people are usually the ones who threw away the vegetables. Soon enough vegetables for everyone to eat every single day. Probably about a ton of vegetables are dumped each day, which gives them enough food to supply in one week for a whole year for only one, which took about 40 people so about 40 weeks to supply everything. never had all the extra food when the famine came. By the time they got out of the dump there was no famine. Even though they never got out of the dump until the end of this book. No, they had a building so they could just eat the cows. Someone threw away a grill. It was a perfectly good grill. When they found out that the grill needed propane and they didn't have any propane the farmer said, “@##$^*)(&^*^&%$#@!@$#%%^^**)%^&$@#@!@ !” Swine decided to repeat that word. The farmer was sick of eating vegetables so he picked up one of his cows and threw it at his wife. When they finally got out of the dump, they had to live on the street because they were sick of the smell. It smelled so bad that half of the farm animals died. Swine found a machine gun and shot the farm cow’s Grave. Then he shot the farm horse. Then he shot all the farm horses friends and family. He shot everything except for the pigs. Now pigs are the only thing living on earth. He found a fossil restoration machine, and took all the human fossils and everything else fossils, and made them back again so like nothing happened. Soon things got weird. Swine started shooting aliens. “Pow pow pow” went the gun. Farm pig started jumping on horses, kicking their backs and riding on them. Soon swine started kicking people's shins. Soon the farmer was so angry at Swine, so he tried to kick his Shins. Swine Was too fast for the farmer. Then the farmer tripped on a rock and fell in a dumpster.

The End